The news that Cricket Australia have today sacked Mickey Arthur came as a bit of a surprise to Yates. But not all that much of a surprise. Mickey Arthur’s recent performances – Homeworkgate, Warnergate and his interview proclaiming the Australian attack as the best in the world – have not been confidence inspiring.
Some time ago Yates opined that David Warner was something of a thug. The events at the Walkabout Bar on Birmingham’s Broad Street have gone a long way to confirming that opinion. This has presented Cricket Australia with a problem and their response to it has been inadequate.
Mickey Arthur and Michael Clarke were rightly pilloried over the Homeworkgate issue. Throughout that, both men insisted that there were standards to be maintained when representing your country and that there were consequences for falling short. Suspension from a test match was the punishment for not doing your homework.
In the aftermath of Homeworkgate and licking the window of stupidity, the Banana Bunch of Cricket Australia (with apologies to Deep Purple) have announced the names of those entrusted with trying to get the Ashes back from England:
Michael Clarke (capt), Brad Haddin (vice-capt, wk), David Warner, Ed Cowan, Phillip Hughes, Shane Watson, Usman Khawaja, Chris Rogers, Matthew Wade (wk), James Faulkner, Ryan Harris, Peter Siddle, James Pattinson, Mitchell Starc, Nathan Lyon, Jackson Bird.
Homeworkgate is like a badly written episode of Sunset Beach. We’ve had lack of forethought from Arthur & Clarke, confidence shattering press conferences from Pat Howard, 4 players being excluded from test selection and Australia being deservedly handed their asses again (Sings “Three nil to the India! Three nil to the India!”). Yesterday another revelation came to light.
Far from being an intellectual, which is no bad thing, Edward James McKenzie Cowan is nothing more than the class creep, the class grass.
That’s a shame because Yates was warming to him. Not any more though.
Australia are now 3-0 down in India. This is a serious headache for Arthur & Clarke but one of their own making because of their poor management. Arthur & Clarke have nailed their colours to the mast and expect players to adhere to those standards. But as Yates has already written, those same standards must apply to them as well. So the news that Michael Clarke’s dodgy back has flared up again highlights injury management by both CA, Arthur and the player himself.
Inspired by a certain yogurt advertising campaign, this is a phrase Yates has had floating around his mind for a while. It occasionally gets an airing as part of the phrase “Better to lick the lid of life than the Window Of Stupidity”. The last couple of days has seen the Window Of Stupidity take one hell of a licking thanks to the antics and poor management in the Aussie cricket team.
Yates has no issue with desires for professionalism. Maybe Arthur & Clarke have seen the error of their ways so far and said “enough is enough”. As a result they have screwed consistency and a clear message without drama and made themselves and Cricket Australia a laughing stock. Ijaz Butt, Justin Vaughan and Ernest Hilaire must be wetting themselves with laughter.
Listening to some favourite music here in Yates’ towers, Yates suddenly found himself singing along to a song but with some different lyrics. Who would have thought Ozzy Osbourne and the Aussie cricket team would be linked in a post here?
Yates almost wet himself laughing this morning at the news that 4 of Australia’s touring squad in India have been dropped for the next test because they failed to complete a presentation about how the team could improve its performanes.
This has been described as “a breach of team protocol” but that is absolute b*ll*cks in Yates’ opinion. Let us be more accurate in this assessment – it’s refusing to take part in mindless, pointless management games which suggest that Mickey Arthur hasn’t got a clue any more.