Tag Archives: kevin pietersen

Bellendery In Extremis

Yates’ Latin teacher was a very wise man. Of course, this was something which only became apparent with the passage of time. One of the many wise things he said was that history repeats itself. Yates will go further and say that if history repeats itself in the same organisation just over a year later then the people in that organisation are imbecilic bellends of the worst kind.

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Change Is Afoot: Downton Sacked

Yates scared the people in the train carriage coming home yesterday as he shouted “Yes!” and fistpumped to his reading the news that Paul Downton has been sacked from his role at the ECB.

After several months of highlighting Downton’s failings the question any of us would like answered is “What tipped the scales?” What finally made Tom Harrison make the right but overdue decision?

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Brand Toxicity

In a week when the Evening Boris sported the headline “Toxic London” it’s appropriate to explore Brand Toxicity.

When does a brand become toxic? What turns a brand from successful to shithouse?

Here are a few thoughts:

  • When it treats its customers with disdain
  • When it takes customers for granted
  • When it mocks customers
  • When it treats customers as lower forms of life
  • When it is dishonest towards customers
  • When it fails to adhere to standards expected of them such as openness and honesty
  • When results and performances show continuing or declining levels of acceptability

Previous, current or ongoing good works rarely matter when a brand starts to turn toxic, as any headline writer will tell you.

Ask Gerald Ratner just how destructive to your brand becoming toxic can be. One supposed joke about his products wiped a high profile brand worth £500 million off the high streets. Why? Because Ratner mocked his customers.

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Saying The Wrong Things #2

Today’s celebration of the 200th birthday of the Lord’s ground will not be remembered for the hundreds by Yuvraj Singh and Aaron Finch.  It will not be remembered for the bowling of Saeed Ajmal or Paul Collingwood.  It will not be remembered for Brett Lee breaking Shane Warne’s hand with a beamer.

It will be remembered for Andrew Strauss calling Kevin Pietersen a “cunt” on air.

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Saying The Wrong And Right Things

Saying The Wrong Thing: Paul Rupert Downton

People wonder what Yates’ beef is with Paul Rupert Downton and whether it’s personal. It isn’t personal. Even though his middle name is Rupert. Regular readers will know that any bad management and senior stupidity gets my ire. The ECB has excelled at both recently.

Yates is fundamentally opposed to Downton’s ditching of Kevin Pietersen, the bullshit reasons he’s used to justify this, his retention of David Saker and his refusal to do anything about the fast bowling coaching that ruins cricketers by interfering with talent and trying to make them fit one box.

Yates deeply resents being told that he is “outside cricket” purely for having opinions, expressing them and asking questions. Yates is nobody’s robot.

It bemuses Yates how a man who played only 30 tests, scoring 795 test runs can claim higher knowledge than one who has played over 100 tests and scored over 8000 test runs. Does working for a bank suddenly confer higher cricketing knowledge? If it does then why has Yates yet to see the Paul Downton cricket coaching manual?

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ECB England – A Devalued Team

The announcement of Peter Moores as England Head Coach has confirmed Yates’ thinking since Paul Downton was announced as Managing Director of England Cricket.

Instead of harshly examining a system which is obsessed with turning fast bowlers into musclebound mechanical men who break down far too often or looking into why the batting coaches were unable to get through to the England top order how to play Mitchell Johnson, Downton decided that he’s tired of dealing with those bloody irritating colonials who speak their mind and used the Ashes whitewash as the ideal opportunity to saddle Kevin Pietersen with the blame.

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Eric Simons Gets It, Why Don’t The ECB?

With David Collier’s senseless outburst yesterday, Yates has spent much of the day wondering what Collier thought he would be able to achieve.  An answer is as far away now as it ever was.  So it was a delight to read that what the Feckless Five at the ECB don’t get, someone else does.

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Shut Up Jabba!

David “Jabba The Hutt” Collier reckons that, although he hasn’t seen any of the BBM messages, the whole KPGate incident was an attempt by the South African team to provoke Kevin Pietersen and disrupt team morale.

The first thought that comes to mind is what the hell was Collier doing going on Sportsweek to discuss KPGate? Surely it is now supposed to be under a clear process which will be behind closed doors and thus merits a “this is not up for discussion” response.

Hardly the act of a Chief Executive who is supportive of the “re-integration” process and objective.  Hardly the act of a Chief Executive who can be trusted – remember there is supposed to be a bond of trust between employer and employee.

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Verbal Diarrhoea From The ECB

You wouldn’t have gotten any more faeces out of Seedy Giles Clarke if you’d have given him a double dose of Picolax twenty minutes before yesterday’s press conference. Are the ECB now sponsored by Andrex?

What is all this crap about a “Holding camp” and a “Programme”?  Some kind of illegal alien alcoholic treatment centre?  Drunk Daleks with delirium tremens?  Plastered Primords peeing and puking pyrotechnically? Wankered Weeping Angels wobbling off into the night?  Has Seedy Giles been talking to Steven Moffat?

Those in charge of English cricket have been shown up as inflated buffoons obsessed with verbal diarrhoea.  This was was verbal diarrhoea at its worst from a serial offender.  One thing Seedy Giles has managed is to get the word “Re-integration” mocked mercilessly.

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The Feckless Five

If there is any element of truth in Nick Hoult’s article in today’s Telegraph, it goes to show that Yates was wrong about the Three Stooges.  It is The Feckless Five  – Hugh Morris, Giles Clarke, David Collier, Geoff Miller and Andy Flower – who are showing their complete unsuitability for working with top level sportsmen.

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