Tag Archives: giles clarke

Verbal Diarrhoea From The ECB

You wouldn’t have gotten any more faeces out of Seedy Giles Clarke if you’d have given him a double dose of Picolax twenty minutes before yesterday’s press conference. Are the ECB now sponsored by Andrex?

What is all this crap about a “Holding camp” and a “Programme”?  Some kind of illegal alien alcoholic treatment centre?  Drunk Daleks with delirium tremens?  Plastered Primords peeing and puking pyrotechnically? Wankered Weeping Angels wobbling off into the night?  Has Seedy Giles been talking to Steven Moffat?

Those in charge of English cricket have been shown up as inflated buffoons obsessed with verbal diarrhoea.  This was was verbal diarrhoea at its worst from a serial offender.  One thing Seedy Giles has managed is to get the word “Re-integration” mocked mercilessly.

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The Feckless Five

If there is any element of truth in Nick Hoult’s article in today’s Telegraph, it goes to show that Yates was wrong about the Three Stooges.  It is The Feckless Five  – Hugh Morris, Giles Clarke, David Collier, Geoff Miller and Andy Flower – who are showing their complete unsuitability for working with top level sportsmen.

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Garbage & Class: Hugh Morris & Andrew Strauss

There has been some utter garbage written about the ongoing situation between Kevin Pietersen and the ECB, much of it from the newspapers, whose “journalists” seem more intent on simple attempts at humiliation and muck raking rather than doing some decent investigative journalism and highlighting the flaws in the ECB’s handling of the situation. Others have made sly digs at KP in their writings when KP himself has no relevance to a story of a recovery from cancer.  David Lloyd’s latest effort on ESPNCricinfo after today’s events is another pretty poor effort.

The only sensible writing on the KP issue Yates has seen so far have come from George Dobell, Michael Holding and Sambit Bal.  Along with those writing for newspapers, many other former players talking about or writing about the game have singularly failed to provide any insight into the inner workings of the ECB top level management and the failures of Hugh Morris, Giles Clarke and David Collier.

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South Africa Now #1 Rated Test Team

It gives Yates no pleasure to post this entry.  Yates is not normally taken to such strength of criticism. However, the decision by Hugh Morris and the ECB senior management to drop Kevin Pietersen for the crucial third test match is the culmination of incompetence and bad management by Morris and his colleagues.

It also goes a fair way to surrendering the coveted #1 test team ranking to the South Africans.

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Giles Clarke: Real Halfwit Or Just Trying To Be One?

Yates had some strong words about David Morgan’s review the other night so it would be wrong of me to allow Giles Clarke’s latest utterances to go without a response.  Giles needs to stop taking whatever pills he’s been on and wake up.  Or perhaps someone would be kind enough to introduce Giles to a clue stick in the form of the Mongoose MMi3.  Yates is surprised that someone with the business acumen of Giles Clarke has ended up spouting rubbish and looking like a puppet.  Which is exactly what has happened here.

But before I do, what is it about sports administration and governance that attracts or turns people into retards and halfwits?  That could be one hell of a long discussion:

Septic Blatter, Numbnuts Srinivasan, Ijaz Butt, Justin Vaughan, now Giles Clarke – all apparently successful yet responsible for some mind blowingly stupid acts and utterances over the years.  Yes, there are plenty of others but to catalogue such halfwittery would take time that Yates doesn’t have right now.  Don’t forget the chaos within Sri Lankan cricket either.

Anyway, back to the issue at hand.  Cricket faces a number of threats.  Match fixing is the most discussed issue at the moment. The ACSU’s failure to apprehend corrupt players is an indictment on the ICC.  Match fixing has now been confirmed in the English domestic game and could have massive repercussions.  The ICC itself doesn’t seem to have any clue how to progress the Associate nations towards test level and was massively rebuked by boards and fans for its initial desire to discount them from the World Cup. Its governance structure is outdated and cannot pass any description of real impartiality and having the interests of the game at heart.  It is open to misuse and bad influences by vested interests.

Which leads me nicely onto the greed of the BCCI, which is well known, as is its bullying attitude whenever something it doesn’t like comes along.  Like the ICL.  Oh yes, Yates will alwsy remember the behaviour of the BCCI and Justin Vaughan.  The Board for Control of Cricket In India throws its bloated, greedy weight around every chance it gets.

Meanwhile in England, the vagaries, strangeness and vested interests of local councils threaten our first class counties.  Well meaning but ultimately flawed ideas are being mooted to change (and weaken IMO) the domestic structure.  More counties are reliant on getting a test match during the season and face financial troubles if they do do not get one; such a  business model cannot expand and continue to work.  Finally the BBC is considering cuts which would render its radio county cricket coverage only marginally better than that of Planet Rock.

So, what does Giles think is the biggest danger facing cricket?  No, it’s not him looking like a sack of faeces tied up with string whenever he’s on television, it’s….

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