Tag Archives: ECB

Fit For Purpose?

Are the ECB Management Fit For Purpose?

“Fit for purpose” is an interesting phrase.  One of those business bullshit phrases but one that carries some actual clout.  It is subjective; who decides what constitutes “fit for purpose”?  What one may hold as a definition will differ from that held by others.

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Durham Shafted

Yesterday’s “punishment” handed out by the ECB to Durham CCC was as violent and brutal a shafting as Yates has ever seen. Anywhere.  The ECB completely ignored their own part in affairs – it was the ECB who encouraged Durham to become part of a system that would leave them desperately reliant on getting a test match to cover the costs of their applying for the right to host it – and handed down a massively disproportionate and unfair sanctioning.

It goes without saying that Yates is not impressed by this latest batch of imbecility from the ECB.  ECB sanctioning decisions have no right of appeal, just like the kangaroo court that is the Cricket Disciplinary Committee, so those affected by the decision can’t do a damn thing about it.

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The Parable of Corporate Bullshit

The ongoing discussion between the pro-City franchise supporters and those of us who won’t accept being ridden over by the ECB’s insistence on gagging clauses and attempts to present a fait accompli gives Yates an opportunity to share a parable with y’all.

Pour yourself a nice mug of tea, settle back and enjoy this Parable of Corporate Bullshit

It was a Tuesday morning.  Yates had been doing his usual techie things in the server room and emerged for a mouthful of coffee.  The atmosphere in the section by the server room was unusually manic.  No inspections were impending, maybe the section manager’s dodgy deals and misdeeds had been discovered and he’d been sacked.  This thought pleased Yates greatly.

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Change Is Afoot: Downton Sacked

Yates scared the people in the train carriage coming home yesterday as he shouted “Yes!” and fistpumped to his reading the news that Paul Downton has been sacked from his role at the ECB.

After several months of highlighting Downton’s failings the question any of us would like answered is “What tipped the scales?” What finally made Tom Harrison make the right but overdue decision?

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Brand Toxicity

In a week when the Evening Boris sported the headline “Toxic London” it’s appropriate to explore Brand Toxicity.

When does a brand become toxic? What turns a brand from successful to shithouse?

Here are a few thoughts:

  • When it treats its customers with disdain
  • When it takes customers for granted
  • When it mocks customers
  • When it treats customers as lower forms of life
  • When it is dishonest towards customers
  • When it fails to adhere to standards expected of them such as openness and honesty
  • When results and performances show continuing or declining levels of acceptability

Previous, current or ongoing good works rarely matter when a brand starts to turn toxic, as any headline writer will tell you.

Ask Gerald Ratner just how destructive to your brand becoming toxic can be. One supposed joke about his products wiped a high profile brand worth £500 million off the high streets. Why? Because Ratner mocked his customers.

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An Open Letter To Colin Graves And Tom Harrison

Dear Colin and Tom,

I don’t envy you the tasks you guys now face.  You take up your roles at the ECB with the national governing body looking greedy, petty, obsessive, controlling, incompetent, mendacious, out of touch and snobbish.  Most importantly the ECB has alienated a lot of people and smeared an imperial shedload of faeces on its brand over the course of 2014.

If it weren’t for Ched Evans the FA would look better than the ECB right now.  That’s how bad things are.

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The K-Word

Despite doing nothing about the booing Moeen Ali received in recent international games, the Exceptionally Clueless Buffoons have been revealed as charging Yorkshire captain Andrew Gale with racism against Lancashire’s South African batsman Ashwell Prince.

Did Gale let rip with an outburst worthy of a UKIPper?

Did he use the N-word? The S-word? The C-word? The M-word?

Did he make certain gestures or references to certain body parts?

Did he refer to a certain land made famous by Alan Clark and then by Godfrey Bloom?

Did he let rip with a Gene Hunt special?

Did he throw a piece of fruit? (If none of these make any sense get onto Google).

Any or all of the above would deserve a guilty verdict. But no, Andrew Gale did not do any of these things.

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Team Waitrose Or Team BBC? Agnew Must Decide

You may have seen the cringingly awful Waitrose promo video that hit the net last week and then mysteriously disappeared.

If you didn’t see it then let Yates provide a brief summary.

“Starring” Jimmy Anderson and Stuart Broad doing the Full Kit W****rs thing in a Waitrose store with BBC Cricket Correspondent Jonathan Agnew providing TMS style commentary.  The advert featured Jimmy rubbing an apple on his groin a la polishing the ball, Stuart diving to catch something dropped by a shopper, David “Bumble” Lloyd as a delivery driver and a nauseating name check for Paul Downton right at the end.

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Conduct Unbecoming Of A QC

Yates offers hearty congratulations to Northamptonshire CCC on their excellent T20 title win last night.  Yates is delighted for them for a variety of reasons not least because Twitter was alive with many many Willey jokes which made him snigger.  The prospect of David Willey playing with Quinton de Kock in the same game looms as a possibility for mass innuendo and immense sniggering and laughter.

This piece was written mostly before the FLT20 Finals Day and would have been posted whether or not Surrey won the trophy.

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ECB Greedy Buggers

Instead of anticipating the start of the Ashes series, Yates has some strong words for the ECB.  Instead of policing cricket properly and pushing for the ICC to start doing the same thing, the ECB seems intent on trying to police YouTube clips.  Specifically one of the best cricket channels on YouTube, that run by Rob Moody (see his Twitter feed here). Continue reading ECB Greedy Buggers