Category Archives: International Cricket

Mental Mickey?

Yates almost wet himself laughing this morning at the news that 4 of Australia’s touring squad in India have been dropped for the next test because they failed to complete a presentation about how the team could improve its performanes.

This has been described as “a breach of team protocol” but that is absolute b*ll*cks in Yates’ opinion.  Let us be more accurate in this assessment – it’s refusing to take part in mindless, pointless management games which suggest that Mickey Arthur hasn’t got a clue any more.

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What If…?

Any tour of India is a challenge. It becomes even more so when the perception is that the touring batsmen generally haven’t a clue against spin bowling on turning pitches along with the well documented story known as KPGate which could equally have been called ECB Couldn’t Manage A Slash In The Morning Gate.

As Yates wrote previously, “Flower must manage and monitor Sally Broad, Graeme Swann and James Anderson equally as much as he manages and monitors KP”.  It seems like most of the tour party has come out with the usual platitudes the “Re-integration process” has gone well and they’re glad that a line has been drawn so people can move forwards.  Business bullshit bingo to the fore.

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Professionalism in Sports Governance

Today’s announcement by the ECB that Brit Insurance has chosen not to extend its sponsorship of the England Cricket Team has again highlighted the need for professionalism, transparency and consistency in sports governance.  The recent events surrounding KPGate have highlighted poor performance by senior ECB management which must surely have adversely impacted on the Brit Insurance brand, to the extent that Brit have had enough.

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Eric Simons Gets It, Why Don’t The ECB?

With David Collier’s senseless outburst yesterday, Yates has spent much of the day wondering what Collier thought he would be able to achieve.  An answer is as far away now as it ever was.  So it was a delight to read that what the Feckless Five at the ECB don’t get, someone else does.

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Shut Up Jabba!

David “Jabba The Hutt” Collier reckons that, although he hasn’t seen any of the BBM messages, the whole KPGate incident was an attempt by the South African team to provoke Kevin Pietersen and disrupt team morale.

The first thought that comes to mind is what the hell was Collier doing going on Sportsweek to discuss KPGate? Surely it is now supposed to be under a clear process which will be behind closed doors and thus merits a “this is not up for discussion” response.

Hardly the act of a Chief Executive who is supportive of the “re-integration” process and objective.  Hardly the act of a Chief Executive who can be trusted – remember there is supposed to be a bond of trust between employer and employee.

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PCB Go One Up On The ECB

When the Pakistan Cricket Board can be said to have more professional intent than you then you really are in deep doo-doo.  But that is exactly what has happened today with ESPNCricinfo’s exclusive interview with PCB Chairman Zaka Ashraf.

To be fair it wouldn’t take much to improve on the efforts of Ashraf’s predecessor Ijaz Butt, but the determination and clarity of Ashraf’s message is clear.  No verbal diarrhoea from this Chairman, just a clear vision of where he wants to get Pakistan cricket and, most importantly, how he’s going to get it there.  Ashraf might as well have said “Giles Clarke! Are you listening? Time for you to remain the laughing stock of world cricket.”

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Verbal Diarrhoea From The ECB

You wouldn’t have gotten any more faeces out of Seedy Giles Clarke if you’d have given him a double dose of Picolax twenty minutes before yesterday’s press conference. Are the ECB now sponsored by Andrex?

What is all this crap about a “Holding camp” and a “Programme”?  Some kind of illegal alien alcoholic treatment centre?  Drunk Daleks with delirium tremens?  Plastered Primords peeing and puking pyrotechnically? Wankered Weeping Angels wobbling off into the night?  Has Seedy Giles been talking to Steven Moffat?

Those in charge of English cricket have been shown up as inflated buffoons obsessed with verbal diarrhoea.  This was was verbal diarrhoea at its worst from a serial offender.  One thing Seedy Giles has managed is to get the word “Re-integration” mocked mercilessly.

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The Feckless Five

If there is any element of truth in Nick Hoult’s article in today’s Telegraph, it goes to show that Yates was wrong about the Three Stooges.  It is The Feckless Five  – Hugh Morris, Giles Clarke, David Collier, Geoff Miller and Andy Flower – who are showing their complete unsuitability for working with top level sportsmen.

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South Africa Now #1 Rated Test Team

It gives Yates no pleasure to post this entry.  Yates is not normally taken to such strength of criticism. However, the decision by Hugh Morris and the ECB senior management to drop Kevin Pietersen for the crucial third test match is the culmination of incompetence and bad management by Morris and his colleagues.

It also goes a fair way to surrendering the coveted #1 test team ranking to the South Africans.

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