Dear Colin and Tom,
I don’t envy you the tasks you guys now face. You take up your roles at the ECB with the national governing body looking greedy, petty, obsessive, controlling, incompetent, mendacious, out of touch and snobbish. Most importantly the ECB has alienated a lot of people and smeared an imperial shedload of faeces on its brand over the course of 2014.
If it weren’t for Ched Evans the FA would look better than the ECB right now. That’s how bad things are.
Continue reading An Open Letter To Colin Graves And Tom Harrison
Despite doing nothing about the booing Moeen Ali received in recent international games, the Exceptionally Clueless Buffoons have been revealed as charging Yorkshire captain Andrew Gale with racism against Lancashire’s South African batsman Ashwell Prince.
Did Gale let rip with an outburst worthy of a UKIPper?
Did he use the N-word? The S-word? The C-word? The M-word?
Did he make certain gestures or references to certain body parts?
Did he refer to a certain land made famous by Alan Clark and then by Godfrey Bloom?
Did he let rip with a Gene Hunt special?
Did he throw a piece of fruit? (If none of these make any sense get onto Google).
Any or all of the above would deserve a guilty verdict. But no, Andrew Gale did not do any of these things.
Continue reading The K-Word
Saying The Wrong Thing: Paul Rupert Downton
People wonder what Yates’ beef is with Paul Rupert Downton and whether it’s personal. It isn’t personal. Even though his middle name is Rupert. Regular readers will know that any bad management and senior stupidity gets my ire. The ECB has excelled at both recently.
Yates is fundamentally opposed to Downton’s ditching of Kevin Pietersen, the bullshit reasons he’s used to justify this, his retention of David Saker and his refusal to do anything about the fast bowling coaching that ruins cricketers by interfering with talent and trying to make them fit one box.
Yates deeply resents being told that he is “outside cricket” purely for having opinions, expressing them and asking questions. Yates is nobody’s robot.
It bemuses Yates how a man who played only 30 tests, scoring 795 test runs can claim higher knowledge than one who has played over 100 tests and scored over 8000 test runs. Does working for a bank suddenly confer higher cricketing knowledge? If it does then why has Yates yet to see the Paul Downton cricket coaching manual?
Continue reading Saying The Wrong And Right Things
Yates is sorry to hear you’re a bit put out by the recent leaks of Lou Vincent and Brendan McCullum’s testimonies to the ACSU.
But you can’t be surprised at the frustration being felt by fans around the world that so few disciplinary measures or convictions have been achieved or contributed by the ACSU. By so few I mean zero. Zip. None. Naff all. Not a God Damn thing. The only convictions that have been achieved have come via discredited newspapers running scams and police tapping phone lines. Nowhere was the ACSU to be seen.
Continue reading Hey Dave! An Open Letter To David Richardson
The announcement of Peter Moores as England Head Coach has confirmed Yates’ thinking since Paul Downton was announced as Managing Director of England Cricket.
Instead of harshly examining a system which is obsessed with turning fast bowlers into musclebound mechanical men who break down far too often or looking into why the batting coaches were unable to get through to the England top order how to play Mitchell Johnson, Downton decided that he’s tired of dealing with those bloody irritating colonials who speak their mind and used the Ashes whitewash as the ideal opportunity to saddle Kevin Pietersen with the blame.
Continue reading ECB England – A Devalued Team
Yates offers hearty congratulations to Northamptonshire CCC on their excellent T20 title win last night. Yates is delighted for them for a variety of reasons not least because Twitter was alive with many many Willey jokes which made him snigger. The prospect of David Willey playing with Quinton de Kock in the same game looms as a possibility for mass innuendo and immense sniggering and laughter.
This piece was written mostly before the FLT20 Finals Day and would have been posted whether or not Surrey won the trophy.
Continue reading Conduct Unbecoming Of A QC
Instead of anticipating the start of the Ashes series, Yates has some strong words for the ECB. Instead of policing cricket properly and pushing for the ICC to start doing the same thing, the ECB seems intent on trying to police YouTube clips. Specifically one of the best cricket channels on YouTube, that run by Rob Moody (see his Twitter feed here). Continue reading ECB Greedy Buggers
Thanks to Bob Willis’ moaning about England “ball tampering” during the Champions Trophy and people looking for a story, the ICC have suddenly decided to “empower” umpires with regards to dealing with ball tampering. Umpires will now be free to act on any suspicions they have, regardless of any lack of eye witness or camera evidence.
By taking this decision, the ICC have both vindicated Darrell Hair’s stance in the now infamous Oval test of 2006 and also put themselves in a precarious position. In the Oval test Umpire Hair believed that the condition of the ball had been changed by Pakistan and awarded 5 penalty runs to England. Pakistan refused to take the field after tea and rightly forfeited the match, as the Laws of Cricket required.
Continue reading Ball Tampering: ICC Vindicate Darrell Hair
Some time ago Yates opined that David Warner was something of a thug. The events at the Walkabout Bar on Birmingham’s Broad Street have gone a long way to confirming that opinion. This has presented Cricket Australia with a problem and their response to it has been inadequate.
Mickey Arthur and Michael Clarke were rightly pilloried over the Homeworkgate issue. Throughout that, both men insisted that there were standards to be maintained when representing your country and that there were consequences for falling short. Suspension from a test match was the punishment for not doing your homework.
Continue reading CA Fail Post-Homeworkgate Test
Harsha Bhogle has a nice way with words but this shouldn’t disguise the omissions he makes in his latest piece. Yates harks back to the late Tony Greig’s Cowdrey Lecture in which he criticises the BCCI and says it should lead with the Spirit Of Cricket at its heart. The recent fixing stories and the conduct of Numbnuts Srinivasan show that this is still not happening.
Harsha pays lip service to a need for governance, structure and codes of conduct yet misses a major point. Good governance requires transparency and the highest ethical standards, not only doing the right thing but being seen to be doing the right thing. Which means no conflicts of interest, people appointed to positions on merit, no interference in elections, no overly complex financial regulations, truly independent auditing and a clear code of conduct which encompasses all these behaviours. If your code of conduct misses any of these areas then it is worthless.
Continue reading On Fixing, Ethics, Governance & Leadership