Category Archives: Governance

Fit For Purpose?

Are the ECB Management Fit For Purpose?

“Fit for purpose” is an interesting phrase.  One of those business bullshit phrases but one that carries some actual clout.  It is subjective; who decides what constitutes “fit for purpose”?  What one may hold as a definition will differ from that held by others.

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The Parable of Corporate Bullshit

The ongoing discussion between the pro-City franchise supporters and those of us who won’t accept being ridden over by the ECB’s insistence on gagging clauses and attempts to present a fait accompli gives Yates an opportunity to share a parable with y’all.

Pour yourself a nice mug of tea, settle back and enjoy this Parable of Corporate Bullshit

It was a Tuesday morning.  Yates had been doing his usual techie things in the server room and emerged for a mouthful of coffee.  The atmosphere in the section by the server room was unusually manic.  No inspections were impending, maybe the section manager’s dodgy deals and misdeeds had been discovered and he’d been sacked.  This thought pleased Yates greatly.

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City Based Franchises: Greed Ahead Of The Game

Having already written about the concept of City based T20 Franchises, more has come to light about the Mediocre Men’s plans.

Remember, this is all going on behind a veil of secrecy – counties have been subject to gagging clauses so cannot comment on anything they may be asked by concerned county supporters and members.

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The Mediocre Men: Graves & Harrison’s T20 Plans

Relative silence here doesn’t mean all is well with the cricket world. Far from it. The BCCI is trying everything it can to avoid implementing the Lodha Review despite being told by the Supreme Court to stop fannying around and bloody well do it. South Africa’s national team is now subject to the kind of government interference the ICC is supposed to be intolerant of. Pakistan still haven’t played a home test match in Christ knows how long and should not have been allowed to bring Mohammad Amir to the UK for their tour. Australia have been exposed as being bloody awful against spin and just given the kind of stuffing Yates would like to give Bonnie Langford. Andre Russell is allowed to play cricket despite allegedly missing three drug tests. And Giles Clarke is still president of the ECB.

All is definitely not well with the game.

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Death Of A Gentleman Review

For those of us deemed “outside cricket”, who follow the game and ask the awkward questions that have seen us branded with the OC monicker, Jarrod Kimber and Sam Collins’ Death of A Gentleman is confirmation of the slime, sleaze, conflicts of interest and corruption at the heart of cricket’s global governance. If you like or love cricket and aren’t aware of or up to date with the happenings in the game’s governance then you need to see this film. No ifs or buts, you must see this film.

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Change Is Afoot: Downton Sacked

Yates scared the people in the train carriage coming home yesterday as he shouted “Yes!” and fistpumped to his reading the news that Paul Downton has been sacked from his role at the ECB.

After several months of highlighting Downton’s failings the question any of us would like answered is “What tipped the scales?” What finally made Tom Harrison make the right but overdue decision?

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An Open Letter To Colin Graves And Tom Harrison

Dear Colin and Tom,

I don’t envy you the tasks you guys now face.  You take up your roles at the ECB with the national governing body looking greedy, petty, obsessive, controlling, incompetent, mendacious, out of touch and snobbish.  Most importantly the ECB has alienated a lot of people and smeared an imperial shedload of faeces on its brand over the course of 2014.

If it weren’t for Ched Evans the FA would look better than the ECB right now.  That’s how bad things are.

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The K-Word

Despite doing nothing about the booing Moeen Ali received in recent international games, the Exceptionally Clueless Buffoons have been revealed as charging Yorkshire captain Andrew Gale with racism against Lancashire’s South African batsman Ashwell Prince.

Did Gale let rip with an outburst worthy of a UKIPper?

Did he use the N-word? The S-word? The C-word? The M-word?

Did he make certain gestures or references to certain body parts?

Did he refer to a certain land made famous by Alan Clark and then by Godfrey Bloom?

Did he let rip with a Gene Hunt special?

Did he throw a piece of fruit? (If none of these make any sense get onto Google).

Any or all of the above would deserve a guilty verdict. But no, Andrew Gale did not do any of these things.

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Saying The Wrong And Right Things

Saying The Wrong Thing: Paul Rupert Downton

People wonder what Yates’ beef is with Paul Rupert Downton and whether it’s personal. It isn’t personal. Even though his middle name is Rupert. Regular readers will know that any bad management and senior stupidity gets my ire. The ECB has excelled at both recently.

Yates is fundamentally opposed to Downton’s ditching of Kevin Pietersen, the bullshit reasons he’s used to justify this, his retention of David Saker and his refusal to do anything about the fast bowling coaching that ruins cricketers by interfering with talent and trying to make them fit one box.

Yates deeply resents being told that he is “outside cricket” purely for having opinions, expressing them and asking questions. Yates is nobody’s robot.

It bemuses Yates how a man who played only 30 tests, scoring 795 test runs can claim higher knowledge than one who has played over 100 tests and scored over 8000 test runs. Does working for a bank suddenly confer higher cricketing knowledge? If it does then why has Yates yet to see the Paul Downton cricket coaching manual?

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Hey Dave! An Open Letter To David Richardson

Dear Dave,

Yates is sorry to hear you’re a bit put out by the recent leaks of Lou Vincent and Brendan McCullum’s testimonies to the ACSU.

But you can’t be surprised at the frustration being felt by fans around the world that so few disciplinary measures or convictions have been achieved or contributed by the ACSU.  By so few I mean zero. Zip. None. Naff all. Not a God Damn thing.  The only convictions that have been achieved have come via discredited newspapers running scams and police tapping phone lines.  Nowhere was the ACSU to be seen.

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