Category Archives: ECB

Conduct Unbecoming Of A QC

Yates offers hearty congratulations to Northamptonshire CCC on their excellent T20 title win last night.  Yates is delighted for them for a variety of reasons not least because Twitter was alive with many many Willey jokes which made him snigger.  The prospect of David Willey playing with Quinton de Kock in the same game looms as a possibility for mass innuendo and immense sniggering and laughter.

This piece was written mostly before the FLT20 Finals Day and would have been posted whether or not Surrey won the trophy.

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ECB Greedy Buggers

Instead of anticipating the start of the Ashes series, Yates has some strong words for the ECB.  Instead of policing cricket properly and pushing for the ICC to start doing the same thing, the ECB seems intent on trying to police YouTube clips.  Specifically one of the best cricket channels on YouTube, that run by Rob Moody (see his Twitter feed here). Continue reading ECB Greedy Buggers

The Tech Doesn’t Work!

For the last two nights Yates has tried in vain to watch live coverage of the New Zealand v England test match.  The operative phrase here is in vain.  Yates’ family has a Virgin Media subscription, lots of sports channels because we all have different sporting interests.  Other family members like motor sports, F1, speedway, NFL and Yates likes the cricket.

The TV Anywhere service is allocated to Yates to keep the cricket off the big screen tv in the lounge.  That keeps Yates’ mother happy because she hates cricket and keeps the Yates’ knackers free from being headbutted by the parents’ dog.  For those who don’t know, the TV Anywhere service is Virgin’s equivalent of SkyGo – “watch your favourite channels anywhere you have an internet connection” being the general claim.  However, the truth of it, the experience if you will, is something rather different.

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What If…?

Any tour of India is a challenge. It becomes even more so when the perception is that the touring batsmen generally haven’t a clue against spin bowling on turning pitches along with the well documented story known as KPGate which could equally have been called ECB Couldn’t Manage A Slash In The Morning Gate.

As Yates wrote previously, “Flower must manage and monitor Sally Broad, Graeme Swann and James Anderson equally as much as he manages and monitors KP”.  It seems like most of the tour party has come out with the usual platitudes the “Re-integration process” has gone well and they’re glad that a line has been drawn so people can move forwards.  Business bullshit bingo to the fore.

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TMS v TMS

It sounds like some kind of WWE tag team grudge match.  In one corner is Test Match Special’s Jonathan “The Assassin” Agnew and his partner Christopher “Cool Man Jiving” Martin-Jenkins, in the other from the Test Match Sofa crew is “Dangerous” Daniel Norcross and Gary “Nailer” Naylor (Be gentle on Yates, he couldn’t think of wrestler type nicknames for the other Sofa crew.)

Yates can’t quite see Aggers going all Randy “Macho Man” Savage on the Sofa crew but a recent article by CMJ has caused something of a stir, going down about as well as Yates’ Great White Eared Elephant impression at his mother’s birthday party.  Words like “predatory” and “pilfering” have been seen doing the rounds.  Yates isn’t sure the “Macho Man” would ever have used the word “pilfering” though…

Editor of The Cricketer (which now owns the Sofa) Andrew Miller posted a reply in the Daily Mail and the discussion has been ongoing via Twitter for a while now, with tweeters from both sides having a say.

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Professionalism in Sports Governance

Today’s announcement by the ECB that Brit Insurance has chosen not to extend its sponsorship of the England Cricket Team has again highlighted the need for professionalism, transparency and consistency in sports governance.  The recent events surrounding KPGate have highlighted poor performance by senior ECB management which must surely have adversely impacted on the Brit Insurance brand, to the extent that Brit have had enough.

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Eric Simons Gets It, Why Don’t The ECB?

With David Collier’s senseless outburst yesterday, Yates has spent much of the day wondering what Collier thought he would be able to achieve.  An answer is as far away now as it ever was.  So it was a delight to read that what the Feckless Five at the ECB don’t get, someone else does.

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Shut Up Jabba!

David “Jabba The Hutt” Collier reckons that, although he hasn’t seen any of the BBM messages, the whole KPGate incident was an attempt by the South African team to provoke Kevin Pietersen and disrupt team morale.

The first thought that comes to mind is what the hell was Collier doing going on Sportsweek to discuss KPGate? Surely it is now supposed to be under a clear process which will be behind closed doors and thus merits a “this is not up for discussion” response.

Hardly the act of a Chief Executive who is supportive of the “re-integration” process and objective.  Hardly the act of a Chief Executive who can be trusted – remember there is supposed to be a bond of trust between employer and employee.

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PCB Go One Up On The ECB

When the Pakistan Cricket Board can be said to have more professional intent than you then you really are in deep doo-doo.  But that is exactly what has happened today with ESPNCricinfo’s exclusive interview with PCB Chairman Zaka Ashraf.

To be fair it wouldn’t take much to improve on the efforts of Ashraf’s predecessor Ijaz Butt, but the determination and clarity of Ashraf’s message is clear.  No verbal diarrhoea from this Chairman, just a clear vision of where he wants to get Pakistan cricket and, most importantly, how he’s going to get it there.  Ashraf might as well have said “Giles Clarke! Are you listening? Time for you to remain the laughing stock of world cricket.”

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Verbal Diarrhoea From The ECB

You wouldn’t have gotten any more faeces out of Seedy Giles Clarke if you’d have given him a double dose of Picolax twenty minutes before yesterday’s press conference. Are the ECB now sponsored by Andrex?

What is all this crap about a “Holding camp” and a “Programme”?  Some kind of illegal alien alcoholic treatment centre?  Drunk Daleks with delirium tremens?  Plastered Primords peeing and puking pyrotechnically? Wankered Weeping Angels wobbling off into the night?  Has Seedy Giles been talking to Steven Moffat?

Those in charge of English cricket have been shown up as inflated buffoons obsessed with verbal diarrhoea.  This was was verbal diarrhoea at its worst from a serial offender.  One thing Seedy Giles has managed is to get the word “Re-integration” mocked mercilessly.

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