Yates’ Latin teacher was a very wise man. Of course, this was something which only became apparent with the passage of time. One of the many wise things he said was that history repeats itself. Yates will go further and say that if history repeats itself in the same organisation just over a year later then the people in that organisation are imbecilic bellends of the worst kind.
The announcement of Peter Moores as England Head Coach has confirmed Yates’ thinking since Paul Downton was announced as Managing Director of England Cricket.
Instead of harshly examining a system which is obsessed with turning fast bowlers into musclebound mechanical men who break down far too often or looking into why the batting coaches were unable to get through to the England top order how to play Mitchell Johnson, Downton decided that he’s tired of dealing with those bloody irritating colonials who speak their mind and used the Ashes whitewash as the ideal opportunity to saddle Kevin Pietersen with the blame.
Two test matches, two pre-test balls ups. Yates wonders what the rest of the Ashes series will bring us and is pondering whether the correct use of the phrase is “balls up”, “balls-up” or “ballsup” (as in that much loved technical term “titsup”).
The second day of the first Ashes test has been a memorable one for debutant Ashton Agar, demonstrating a batting prowess that is considerably higher than his position in the Aussie batting order. Only the hardest hearted would have begrudged the young man the century that he fell 2 runs short of.
For non Australians today will be remembered for poor England bowling against Agar and Phil Hughes and for two very poor decisions by Elite Panel umpire on TV duty Marais Erasmus.
The news that Cricket Australia have today sacked Mickey Arthur came as a bit of a surprise to Yates. But not all that much of a surprise. Mickey Arthur’s recent performances – Homeworkgate, Warnergate and his interview proclaiming the Australian attack as the best in the world – have not been confidence inspiring.
Some time ago Yates opined that David Warner was something of a thug. The events at the Walkabout Bar on Birmingham’s Broad Street have gone a long way to confirming that opinion. This has presented Cricket Australia with a problem and their response to it has been inadequate.
Mickey Arthur and Michael Clarke were rightly pilloried over the Homeworkgate issue. Throughout that, both men insisted that there were standards to be maintained when representing your country and that there were consequences for falling short. Suspension from a test match was the punishment for not doing your homework.
In the aftermath of Homeworkgate and licking the window of stupidity, the Banana Bunch of Cricket Australia (with apologies to Deep Purple) have announced the names of those entrusted with trying to get the Ashes back from England:
Michael Clarke (capt), Brad Haddin (vice-capt, wk), David Warner, Ed Cowan, Phillip Hughes, Shane Watson, Usman Khawaja, Chris Rogers, Matthew Wade (wk), James Faulkner, Ryan Harris, Peter Siddle, James Pattinson, Mitchell Starc, Nathan Lyon, Jackson Bird.