Author Profile & Agenda

Welcome to Don’t Chase The Wide Ones.

A few useful pointers for the new or returning visitor:

  • We don’t put the milk in first here
  • We welcome those branded “outside cricket”
  • We do fart in bed
  • We don’t buy any of this “true fan” crap
  • We only tamper with our own balls
  • We haven’t called anyone a cunt on live television
  • We’re blocked by Jonathan Agnew and Michael Vaughan (who isn’t these days?)

Seriously, if you think DCTWO is an attack blog then you’re very likely part of the problem rather than part of the solution. (*cough* Agnew *cough*).  These are turbulent times for cricket and turbulent times call for people to speak up for the good and speak out against the bad in our game.

Yates is older than he looks.  Attempts at playing the game have met with varying results ranging from match winning to the truly Village.  Yates insists that this qualifies him more than adequately to comment on the less impressive performances he sees.  A medium pace pie chucker as well as off-spinner, Yates swings both ways (“It’s all in the wrist”) and is more Dernbach than Dhoni with the bat.

As with other aspects of life, Yates abhors stupidity and the greed of vested interests.  Those who think asking simple questions of coaches, selectors and administrators is not being “a true fan” and deserving of being branded “outside cricket” are themselves a problem within the game and deserve to be rooted out in the same way corruption and drug cheating must be.

Cricketing claims to fame aren’t many. Yates once nearly got knocked out by a six from Mike Watkinson and has been mentioned in a couple of @Surreycricket’s videos and on BBC London 94.9 Surrey commentary.  He did once get one to jag back and bowl Gordon Parsons at a Warwickshire CCC open day (the ball hit the edge of a hole in the astroturf).  Yates used to do a good Dermot Reeve impression. Bowling, that is. Not snorting.

There’s some darts stuff on here too. Been following the game since I was a nipper. I play socially and despite dreams of getting a PDC tour card the reality is that there’s more chance of my opening the batting for Pakistan.

Some may find Yates a little cranky, others may find him a fine host and all round good egg.  What is not in doubt is his love for the game and all that it teaches us.


  • Good hard cricket. No quarter asked for or given
  • Zafar Ansari
  • A decent cup of tea at a cricket ground
  • Jonny Bairstow
  • Stuart MacGill and Brad Hogg
  • The smell you get when opening a bookcase full of old Wisdens
  • Memories of Graham Gooch belting Shastri into the building works and straight out again


  • Giles Clarke, Tom Harrison, Colin Graves and Andrew Strauss
  • Sally Broad
  • Michael “Rent my gob and I’ll plug ISM players” Vaughan
  • The BCCI
  • Cricketers trying to be funny.  Comedy is a gift most do not have.
  • Anti Mankading moaners