All posts by Yates

Born in a time where the school cricket teacher was usually the overtimetabled Maths or French teacher who was a total rugby nut and thought cricket was a game for nancy boys (and in this case he was), Yates remains scarred by his school’s failure to pick him as an off-spinner for their 1st XI (or, indeed, any of their XIs). He claims that he is “the right armed Phil Edmonds that England never had” despite not resembling Philippe-Henri in any way. The only thing they have in common is that both have ricked their back when getting out of a car. Attempts at playing the game have met with varying results ranging from match winning to the truly Village. Yates insists that this qualifies him more than adequately to comment on the less impressive performances he sees.

Oi! BCCI! Back Off!

The stuffing that India’s cricketers have taken from England has focused attention on several aspects of India’s cricket.  Most notably the fielding of the India team has been some of the worst Yates has seen in recent times.  When Yates says “I would be embarrassed to have fielded like that!” then you are in trouble.  Yates has seen plenty of village fielding and had a few of his own village moments.  That India team did not perform like a team whose fielding coach is Trevor Penney.  Yates has seen better fielding efforts from five year old children and mid 30 year olds coming out of hospital after operations on their knackers.

So when Nasser Hussain compared India’s fielding efforts to those of donkeys many will have felt the comparison justified if somewhat lacking in critical sting.  Yates has heard far stronger and less politically correct terms used to describe India’s efforts in the field in this series.

Continue reading Oi! BCCI! Back Off!

Cricket Thoughts: Scheduling

There are plenty of discussions going on about the state of the game and in particular the scheduling of games during the cricket season. Legside Lizzy and George Dobell are two whose thoughts are well worth reading.

Yates has heard a fair few people say that the schedule is crazy and needs to be streamlined and is not unsympathetic to both sides of the discussion.  If you’ve tried to schedule something involving groups of people you will know that it is nigh on impossible to please everyone and that someone somewhere will always have a whinge and a bitch.

As a returning spectator this season here are a few things that have struck me during my visits to the Kia Oval.

Continue reading Cricket Thoughts: Scheduling

Opening Up

We walk out to bat, call for a leg stump guard and dig a trench along that line.  We dig like Jonathan Trott, of whom we are great supporters.  We walk away, get into our little bubble – we don’t care if anyone is annoyed by it – walk back to the stumps and take our guard.

Welcome to Don’t Chase The Wide Ones, a new blog centred around cricket.  Things may run off at a tangent but the central aspect of DCTWO will be cricket, often with a Surrey and England slant.  Some posts will be humorous, some will be reportage and some will be questioning, critical and/or challenging of something or someone that we think needs Cluesticking (that is, a smack upside the head with a Clue stick).

DCTWO is a journey.  Check out the Author & Agenda page to learn a little more about DCTWO.

There are some sincerely held beliefs here at DCTWO, just so people can see where we’re coming from.

  • We enjoy good cricket, from whichever team it comes
  • We like good fish and chips and a bar that serves cider and soft drinks at reasonable prices
  • We don’t have it in for any team, not even Glamorgan (Yates is a Jamie Dalrymple fan)
  • We’re not malicious unless it’s the PCB in which case it’s well deserved
  • A 6 is a 6 and not a “DLF maximum”
  • We’re alarmed at the number of people in cricket administration who need Cluesticking
  • Ijaz Butt and Andrew Hilditch are two people in dire need of severe Cluesticking
  • Justin Vaughan needs to be cut loose from his BCCI branded gimp outfit and readjusted to society.  His gutless role in the Shane Bond story will never be forgotten
  • The BCCI is far too big for its boots and needs bringing down to size
  • Quite why Daryl Harper and Asoka de Silva stayed as international umpires for so long bemuses us

The guard is marked, DCTWO’s innings has started.  Let’s play.

Remember: be smart, be safe – don’t chase the wide ones.